In a move that is sure to prove unpopular among the legions of MINI faithful, BMW Group has recently announced its decision to discontinue the iconic automobile brand in favor of bringing Hummer commercial vehicles back to the U.S. marketplace.
The move comes as a surprise to both the automotive and business worlds as MINI has enjoyed steady sales growth and seen its stable of vehicle offerings expand in just a decade. Hummer, on the other hand, was discontinued by General Motors following the economic crisis of 2008 and the company’s own bankruptcy in 2009. The vehicle’s general lack of practicality -enormous size and atrocious gas mileage - stands in stark contrast to the fun affordability of the MINI lineup. The bold decision will almost definitely result in serious consumer backlash which begs the question, “Why oh why BMW?”
“If you think about it, Hummer is really a far more natural fit for the company and our values,” said BMW Business Development Manager Dolph von Studenheimer. “BMW is a transcendent brand, something more than an automobile. We are looking to set trends and create lasting impressions that will alter the course of not just the automotive market, but our own culture, our own world. What better place to start than Hummer, the vehicle with the single largest carbon footprint. We want to, you know, make OUR footprint, BMW’s footprint, as big as possible, and that’s why we chose to invest in Hummer.”
Studenheimer declined comment when pressed about the future of MINI and the gaping whole left in the market other than to say, “Isn’t Jennifer Lopez selling Fiats?”
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